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Category Archives: Regret

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Regret times seven.

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There are uniforms and then there are costumes.

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Guilty that I don’t feel a goddamned thing.

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They don’t call it rape because it feels good. If you’re going to rape someone? You better be a rapist. You better be a psychopath. You better not have a soul, YOU BETTER BE BEYOND SAVING, because if you’re still a human being before doing it, you’re still going to be a human being after doing it. And a human being can’t be the same after doing something like that. They just can’t.  Trust me.  Sometimes I think the only way to get better is to get worse.

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Years before you, I met this other girl. I said hello, you know, politely, not really interested in her, but still a nice guy, because I can’t not be a nice guy. And she, this girl, she could see I was just being polite, and so out of no where she blurts out, “I’m not a fucking horse.” I didn’t say you were, I tell her calmly. “I’m a unicorn missing my horn,” she snapped. Oh. Okay.

I have so much inside of me, so much I need to get out, I just want to sing.  And your games? Well, after trying so hard for so long, now they just feel like games.

When does singing become screaming become silence?  I’m ready for the silence.

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Maybe I don’t have a type.  People who have ‘types’ usually try to, you know, be with people who are that type.  But with me, I’m just so thrilled, awestruck,just so ecstatic that she would actually talk to me,me with the way I look outside and the way I am inside, I am just so happy she would even speak to me, that I don’t even think about the fact that she’s not my type.  I don’t even think that I barely like this person, that I can barely stand this person, that if I saw this person on the street I wouldn’t even look twice.  But look, she’s talking to me, so I turn to her and I whisper:

“Do you want to, I don’t know, maybe go out with me for 2-6 months, have mediocre sex, crush my self-esteem into a fine dust, and then pretend like I wasn’t the biggest mistake of your life?”

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Should have saved them.  Savored them.  Bred them.  Bottled them.  Fucking appreciated them more when they were here.  Now my tongue is all blue and I miss the life I could have had.

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Put me back in the cage.

emo animal pictures

You’ve already done everything else, you act like there’s nothing else you can do, you won’t do anything you should do, so just do it.  Just do it, before I think better of it, before I think less of you, just fucking do it.